In the summer of '95, I had to get ready to say goodbye to my three best friends and my boyfriend because they were all going to college and leaving me behind for my senior year. By September, I could recount what I did every single day of that summer, because it all felt so eventful and poignant. (Also, because we did awesome stuff like, go to the drive-in, hung out at diners and Thai restaurants, drank coffee and swam in Newport at night, and climbed around Lincoln park.)
This summer there are some circumstantial similarities, of course, but weirdly there's been some very visceral experiences that confuse my sense of time.
- Riding in the backseat of a car on the way to the beach around sunset with loud techno music playing, while the driver inexpertly speeds through gears and skids to a stop at every light.
- Believing that coffee can make up for weeks of mild and mostly voluntary sleep deprivation.
- Spending HOURS on the phone with different people, talking until I figure out really big ideas about myself and my future.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Friday, July 25, 2008
Shameful
It's the basement, man, it just swallows me whole!
I've been under the stairs, and keep finding the kind of stuff people keep in cardboard boxes under the stairs... tax documents, paperwork from work trainings and college classes, old notes from friends and lovers... generally weird stuff! I found my second journal WHICH I started in 7th gr. (Homeroom 20, it says on the cover.) I started it because we were reading Ann Frank's diary, AND we were about to start the Persian Gulf war, and my self-absorption kind of led me to conflate the two. It's more embarrassing than I would have thought.
"6:36 am January 16th: Hi again! I'm waiting for my Cream of Wheat to heat up. Isn't it weird that when my mom was a kid they had to make a big pan of it now you make your own in 3-4 min. as compared to 20 min cool huh, Oops it's done, see ya.
9:11am January 17th: We bombed Iraq last night. We bombed their air fields, factories, and everything. We're about to take a lit exam.
10:56 am I'm back and I'm in science. Oh, I got a 95% on my exam only two wrong!!! I'm so happy, mom's going to be ecstatic!! We won in Gym! We're going to see a movie to tell us about Uranus. Bye!"
Good thing I grew up, so I can write about important stuff, like what people in Ballard say on the bus, and how efficiently (or not) I'm moving.
I've been under the stairs, and keep finding the kind of stuff people keep in cardboard boxes under the stairs... tax documents, paperwork from work trainings and college classes, old notes from friends and lovers... generally weird stuff! I found my second journal WHICH I started in 7th gr. (Homeroom 20, it says on the cover.) I started it because we were reading Ann Frank's diary, AND we were about to start the Persian Gulf war, and my self-absorption kind of led me to conflate the two. It's more embarrassing than I would have thought.
"6:36 am January 16th: Hi again! I'm waiting for my Cream of Wheat to heat up. Isn't it weird that when my mom was a kid they had to make a big pan of it now you make your own in 3-4 min. as compared to 20 min cool huh, Oops it's done, see ya.
9:11am January 17th: We bombed Iraq last night. We bombed their air fields, factories, and everything. We're about to take a lit exam.
10:56 am I'm back and I'm in science. Oh, I got a 95% on my exam only two wrong!!! I'm so happy, mom's going to be ecstatic!! We won in Gym! We're going to see a movie to tell us about Uranus. Bye!"
Good thing I grew up, so I can write about important stuff, like what people in Ballard say on the bus, and how efficiently (or not) I'm moving.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
I'm a little dizzy....
Saw the Dark Knight, it was incredible, absolutely amazing. LOVED it.
The to-do list has graduated from the bathroom mirror to the white board in the kitchen. (This whiteboard used to hold shopping lists and lists of all the non-visible foods in the house (pantry, freezer etc.) Now it has lists pertaining to emptying this house, to filling boxes and a truck, to preparing for visitors (?!) and applying to school.
Also, we started feeding the cats Peppercatz because of John's wierd skin problems and their enormity. It's raw meat, which I feel good about for them but a little confused about as a new vegetarian. On the other hand, after two days they're behavior is decidedly more catlike on the cat-to-sofa spectrum which is incredibly charming. Yesterday, we watched John tear ass across the lawn (which generally only happens in the presence of a dog or a vaccuum) and scratch her nails on the fence. "She's THINKING about CLIMBING the FENCE!" Z said with absolute incredulity. We're mixing it with their old food (California Natural) and the kibbles have been left over every single day. (Today, I gave them Evo which the lady at the pet store gave me for free to try. It is still sitting there.) John ignored her bowl in order to plot about how to intimidate Little G out of hers.... again a move away from sofa.
The to-do list has graduated from the bathroom mirror to the white board in the kitchen. (This whiteboard used to hold shopping lists and lists of all the non-visible foods in the house (pantry, freezer etc.) Now it has lists pertaining to emptying this house, to filling boxes and a truck, to preparing for visitors (?!) and applying to school.
Also, we started feeding the cats Peppercatz because of John's wierd skin problems and their enormity. It's raw meat, which I feel good about for them but a little confused about as a new vegetarian. On the other hand, after two days they're behavior is decidedly more catlike on the cat-to-sofa spectrum which is incredibly charming. Yesterday, we watched John tear ass across the lawn (which generally only happens in the presence of a dog or a vaccuum) and scratch her nails on the fence. "She's THINKING about CLIMBING the FENCE!" Z said with absolute incredulity. We're mixing it with their old food (California Natural) and the kibbles have been left over every single day. (Today, I gave them Evo which the lady at the pet store gave me for free to try. It is still sitting there.) John ignored her bowl in order to plot about how to intimidate Little G out of hers.... again a move away from sofa.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Proof of Packing
Last night my friends John and Paula watched me pack because Z is away for the weekend and I needed some moral support. I went through a box of old stuff (dumped most of it) and two shelves of books. (Most of our books Z and I want to pack or pitch together, but tonight I did my child/youth section, and saved two questionable items to ask him about later.) Unfortunately, since I don't have boxes yet (but will fetch some today... cast-offs from P's wedding gifts) my packing really consisted of stacking. But the hard part for me is really sitting on the floor, and casting off the ones I don't want, and I did that.
For John the Baptist, hating changes is the hard part, though.
I've found myself really anxious and stressed out about this move, more than I thought I would be. Yesterday I said something about "this family" and how we move. It was a tense moment in a long string of tense moments, but Z laughed when I said that and we realized that maybe there are some other voices speaking in our conversation. I don't remember much of moving as a kid, but we did it a lot because my dad was in the Navy. (The last big move was when I was 9 and I remember that one.) I'm pretty curious about how my family talked about moving, and what my parents were anxious about at the time. I remember the concept of "cleaning for inspection" and that it was a big deal. I think at one point this meant my mother scraping spaghetti off the ceiling in Connecticut (someone had shown her that a perfect way to test your spaghetti is to throw it onto the ceiling... if it sticks, it's done.) and oatmeal off the water heater in California (a kid my mom cared for had been forced to eat his cold oatmeal breakfast leftovers for lunch and the kid had hidden it there when my mom's back was turned). I guess, when I'm feeling stressed out about emptying the basement, I can imagine scraping oatmeal off the heater.
Yeah, that might help.
For John the Baptist, hating changes is the hard part, though.
I've found myself really anxious and stressed out about this move, more than I thought I would be. Yesterday I said something about "this family" and how we move. It was a tense moment in a long string of tense moments, but Z laughed when I said that and we realized that maybe there are some other voices speaking in our conversation. I don't remember much of moving as a kid, but we did it a lot because my dad was in the Navy. (The last big move was when I was 9 and I remember that one.) I'm pretty curious about how my family talked about moving, and what my parents were anxious about at the time. I remember the concept of "cleaning for inspection" and that it was a big deal. I think at one point this meant my mother scraping spaghetti off the ceiling in Connecticut (someone had shown her that a perfect way to test your spaghetti is to throw it onto the ceiling... if it sticks, it's done.) and oatmeal off the water heater in California (a kid my mom cared for had been forced to eat his cold oatmeal breakfast leftovers for lunch and the kid had hidden it there when my mom's back was turned). I guess, when I'm feeling stressed out about emptying the basement, I can imagine scraping oatmeal off the heater.
Yeah, that might help.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
It's the little things....
That let me know we're moving. No I don't have big boxes lying around yet... there is the Direct TV reciever all boxed up for FedEx... the woman just couldn't understand that I'd only wanted it for Soccer and now that the Euro cup is over, it's worthless to us.
No, I know I'm moving because when I started to taste hot sauces from Zack and Zane's at the farmer's market a few weeks ago, Z reminded me that we would "only have to move it." When I got home, I looked at the pantry. Time to use that 3 year old can of coconut milk... what'll I do with all that rice that the Sprayberries gave us when they moved two years ago... ship it to Allentown maybe?
This morning I used the last of the conditioner and planned to refill a little bottle instead of a big one so that we can take it with "on the road".
Occasionally, when we look at a map together to plan, I find myself imagining the rouute, sure. I'm also imagining our cooler, full of almond butter sandwiches on hippie dippie bread, local blackberries and pluots, a six pack of good beer to drink in Coors country.
When Z and I go out, I find myself memorizing the faces of my favorite baristas, wishing for a recipe for juevos abrogados, just marking the moment so that we can remember it later.
No, I know I'm moving because when I started to taste hot sauces from Zack and Zane's at the farmer's market a few weeks ago, Z reminded me that we would "only have to move it." When I got home, I looked at the pantry. Time to use that 3 year old can of coconut milk... what'll I do with all that rice that the Sprayberries gave us when they moved two years ago... ship it to Allentown maybe?
This morning I used the last of the conditioner and planned to refill a little bottle instead of a big one so that we can take it with "on the road".
Occasionally, when we look at a map together to plan, I find myself imagining the rouute, sure. I'm also imagining our cooler, full of almond butter sandwiches on hippie dippie bread, local blackberries and pluots, a six pack of good beer to drink in Coors country.
When Z and I go out, I find myself memorizing the faces of my favorite baristas, wishing for a recipe for juevos abrogados, just marking the moment so that we can remember it later.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
I am a shining star!
Just got home from my guitar class and am ready to gloat! I practiced (nearly) every day last week and my teacher actually suggested that I am NOT a beginner (I am, I am just also a progressor!) AND asked if I needed something more challenging to practice. I DON'T... I can't wait to plink and plunk at "Oh Susanna" and "When the Saints Go Marching In". I am so happy and proud. Tra la la.
P.S. What move? Packing? Oh, I have a friend bringing boxes over next week, doesn't that count?
P.S. What move? Packing? Oh, I have a friend bringing boxes over next week, doesn't that count?
Friday, July 4, 2008
Brand new John Prine fan
I was listening to Pandora recently, on my favorite Amy Winehouse/Dan Bern/Ani Difranco/Woody Guthrie/Common De la Soul station, and this song by John Prine came on called "She is My Everything".
Of course songs just sort of come up randomly on Pandora, so the only way I've found to hear it online is some guy's Youtube tribute to his girlfriend that uses the Ken Burns effect (and this awesome song).
My favorite line is "She knows everybody. From Mohammed Ali to teaching Bruce Lee how to do karate." Awesome.
Of course songs just sort of come up randomly on Pandora, so the only way I've found to hear it online is some guy's Youtube tribute to his girlfriend that uses the Ken Burns effect (and this awesome song).
My favorite line is "She knows everybody. From Mohammed Ali to teaching Bruce Lee how to do karate." Awesome.
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