Mama said knock you out

I don't know why I stopped blogging, and I'm not sure why I might start again...
I intend to only spend a moment on this topic, but a couple of things stand out to me as I read this blog.
1. I've waited so long to change the banner pic at the top that it's relevant again.
2. I "promised" to reflect on being pregnant, and never did.

I think that when one is pregnant (like when one is an adolescent or when one is in love) one's life becomes a big cliche. It's a cliche because certain things are universal, and so they sound cliche when we talk about them. So, it was weird to write about being pregnant in the same way that it was weird to write about how important my thoughts and feelings were when I was 16. Also, I had a really pleasant pregnancy. Yes, I had hormonal ups and downs, yes, I had heartburn, but really, I had a great time. It can be hard to talk about things that are going well,especially if you have reason to be supersticious and fear "jinxing it". So, I didn't write much about how awesome it was to think about a new person inside my body, how connected to Zak I felt as we moved into this new stage blah de blah de blah. Now that my son has arrived and he is his own person, we are still firmly in the land of cliche ("Every day is an adventure." "He's so tiny and perfect." "I see a whole new side of my husband when I watch him with the baby." etc. etc. etc. BUT it is SO interesting to me that I'll risk it.

Finally, I've just gotten back into the habit of writing and reflecting on a more regular basis in part because I bought Nikki Mclure's First 1000 Days
. (she's a fantastic artist from the old PNW.) I really wanted to write to S about what his infancy is like, and what our transition to parenthood has been like, but I had no time in those first weeks to sit down and think, and it was a little overwhelming to decide which completely new and different details to include and which to leave out. I couldn't prioritize. This journal (which is beautiful in every way) is small, and has two pages for each month. There are other pages later in the book to record things like "songs we sing" or "how you express yourself, words you use" etc. but basically, I have to write succinctly and at the end of the month I have a few small paragraphs that more or less tell the story of that four weeks. This is a relief and an excellent reminder to myself. (I totally recommend Mclure's book as a new baby gift to any family who likes to write or remember. I am loving it.)

Resolution Shmesolution
I was inspired by my friend Jessie a few years ago to choose an intention for the whole year. Last year my intention was "follow through". This is kind of funny, since I didn't blog very much, but hey, I didn't say I'd follow through on my blog, just... in general. Today I spent an hour filing and recycling papers from my "crapalanche" on my desk. This is one kind of the follow-through I was talking about. I do have a few projects I could have finished from this year, but more or less I think I lived up to this intention. I definitely thought a lot about what I was taking on and whether I could finish it up. The sheer effort of doing things while pregnant and meant I had to set more limits than usual and maybe say no (realistically) where I might have said yes (optimistically) in the past. This was an unintended consequence of my commitment to follow through.

2012's intention grows out of this idea of limiting my efforts. This year is all about simplification. Watching a new baby human, and tending to his every need makes it really clear that we really don't need much. We're also getting ready to move (upstairs) and that always brings on some reordering and sloughing off. My work on my desk is also part of simplifying. I'm thinking a lot, too, about my wardrobe. For the last 6 or 8 months, I've pretty much worn 20 items from a bag I got from a friend. (I've worn more clothes in the last three months or so, but really I mostly wear maternity shirts still for nursing ease.) We'll see how I'll do with FOLLOWING THROUGH on this intention this year.

Funny things.

I swear a million funny, poignant things are happening to me every day, and I can't hold onto them long enough to type them here. (Sleep deprivation has done a number on my already shitty short term memory.) Suffice it to say that I'm back to blogging (I think.) and I'll have many deep and witty things to share... wicked soon. But not tonight.

I am enjoying the fact that I am now eligible to be the butt of silly "Your mom" jokes. I guess whichever way I can begin to integrate this new identity is helpful, right?

Baby update

He slept from 11:30 until 5:30 last night. When Zak brought him to me (they slept in the guest room so that I could get some solid rest) I was so confused by the clock that I just stared at them, unsure of what was going on, of what planet I was on even. He's continued to sleep almost all day, waking only twice briefly to play and eat. I believe that he will wake up fully an inch longer tomorrow after a day like this.

Also, I was going to title this post "Don't Call it a Comeback" until I Google Imaged that phrase and found that the top clips were actually from bloggers who were coming back to their blog after some time off. So I didn't do that. However, whenever S gets out of the bath and looks out at us from under his droopy hooded towel neither Z or I can keep ourselves from singing it to him. At some point that will get old, but at this moment everything is so new and so fun.

Springtime Flux

I've always gotten Spring Fever.

Every year.  It's a little embarrassing. For me this manifests as nervous energy, forgetfullness, preoccupation with pretty things, falling in love with every other person who walks down the street or sits next to me in the cafe, rushing more, napping more and eating ice cream. We're nearly through it this year, and it has passed quickly, perhaps because of how satisfying this spring has been.  I know it's boring to talk about the weather, but really it has affected this whole relocation so much and so postively that I can't stop talking about it yet.

I loved seeing flowers pop out of the snow, people poking out of their heavy overcoats, leaving a scarf or mittens home one day or the next, challenging winter as it faded away.  Spring seemed so brave and hopeful.  Last week we had a legitimately hot day, and it showed us what summer will be.  In Seattle somehow, the weather seemed more distant, unassailable, and here, it feels as though the bravery of a few hatless souls may have been responsible for the whole damn thing.  In Seattle the trees would suddenly be abloom, but here there was a nice, long, smooth budding phase that allowed us to prepare our hearts and our bodies for spring.

At work, it's a whole other type of adjustment. Now instead of the parade of snowsuits, hats, scarves and mittens, it's the process of sunhats, sandal straps, water bottles and sunscreen.  The kids are happy to just sit in the grass and stare, to swing, swing, swing to hold hands and run one way and then another.  They have each mastered something brand new on the playground in the last week; the rings, pumping on a swing, flying on their bellies on the swing, climbing to the top of a tall, tall ladder, sliding down on their bellies.  Like little spring animals learning how to walk, to run, to fly or hunt.

At home I'm trying to keep some of this energy with me as I ride my bike back.  I'm still having a hard time with so many hours of my life given away to my job and commute, but the bike is faster than the train, now, and getting faster every day.  I'm still practicing my unicycle every week or so, it's still difficult to go more than five feet or so.  Maybe I'll practice again today as I clean the house before houseguests arrive.  I finally found a yoga studio that I'm crazy about which is a few less free hours in my week, but more than worth it.  It's also local soccer season, so Z and I have attended one Revolution game, and one Boston breakers game.  We'll return to ther fort this weekend with friends this time to see another Rev's game.

This is one of the most boring posts I've ever written, but, it's what I'm thinking about.

Next time, I'll have something hilarious, thoughtful and shocking for you.

When one puts off blogging...

One is stumped to find something worthwhile enough to say that makes it ok that you haven't written. .. this is a vicious cycle, as we all know.

In my silence, I've found a job (at a wonderful childcare) and we've found an apartment (that I feel great about) and I've found myself very happy to have moved.  I no longer feel confused that I might be still on vacation, and things are comfortable and easy here.

Next time I write, I ASSURE you, it'll be clever and fascinating and sooner than an entire month.

Oh, and thank you to those who encouraged me to blog again.

Shameful

It's the basement, man, it just swallows me whole!

I've been under the stairs, and keep finding the kind of stuff people keep in cardboard boxes under the stairs... tax documents, paperwork from work trainings and college classes, old notes from friends and lovers... generally weird stuff! I found my second journal WHICH I started in 7th gr. (Homeroom 20, it says on the cover.) I started it because we were reading Ann Frank's diary, AND we were about to start the Persian Gulf war, and my self-absorption kind of led me to conflate the two. It's more embarrassing than I would have thought.

"6:36 am January 16th: Hi again! I'm waiting for my Cream of Wheat to heat up. Isn't it weird that when my mom was a kid they had to make a big pan of it now you make your own in 3-4 min. as compared to 20 min cool huh, Oops it's done, see ya.

9:11am January 17th: We bombed Iraq last night. We bombed their air fields, factories, and everything. We're about to take a lit exam.

10:56 am I'm back and I'm in science. Oh, I got a 95% on my exam only two wrong!!! I'm so happy, mom's going to be ecstatic!! We won in Gym! We're going to see a movie to tell us about Uranus. Bye!"

Good thing I grew up, so I can write about important stuff, like what people in Ballard say on the bus, and how efficiently (or not) I'm moving.

Beautiful weather= no blog

First I was sick,
then I started learning guitar.
Next came Z's birthday and now I'm hustling to get ready at work and at home to go on a trip to Point no point with my fantastic friends C and T from the NC.

It's going to be awesome. And probably colder than here.

Things currently being worried about/worked on for the move...
how/whether to move newts
our book collection
how crazy it is that time moves ever onward.

You may notice...

That this blog seems a lot more populated than it used to be.

No, I didn't just retroactively pen my memories of days past, I just moved blog entries over from my Myspace blog that I've had for awhile now. So, if you're bored, you can read further back in my life.

I'm back, and this time I've overdosed on Garlic

and I don't mean that in a colloquial sense, like when someone tells me that they're "addicted" to Veggie Booty.

Nope. I sat with my friend and ate SO MUCH garlic. It was roasted and then microwaved, and then eaten with bread and then without bread and it was delicious. (This was Monday, so I'm fine now, and just had a lovely "Back to School day" with the kids.) BUT on Monday night I was convinced I was going to die... I didn't know why. I thought it might be a cookie from my friend Dave, but my friend was sick too, and the garlic was the common culprit!

I believe in the power of words, so I prefer "Garlic Overdose" for it's specific clarity, but the internets tell me that it's POISON. (Check out the link if you doubt the fervor of these antigarlic crazies.) I have also come to believe that too much garlic at one time can damage the flora of my stomach and prevent it from digesting things(like a cookie) at it's usual busy clip. (JD, it was like at least one HUGE HEAD, so don't worry, it won't happen if you only use it recreationally. This will not happen to you.) Actually the ease with which I found "information" about "garlic poisoning" stunned me, so it was time to check and see if this was a random Google effect.

"Toner cartridge poisoning" led to almost no related items... no I don't know why "Toner Cartridge" was the first common household (ish?) item to come to mind. Blame the garlic.
"Corn poisoning" was all about sinister exterminators feeding pests.
"Jelly poisoning" was patchy, but DID bring up this disturbing piece about the banal hazards of incarceration.

At this point I had a quick chat with my sister and decided that I should be searching for other "miracle cure" type foods, more like garlic, so I tried "Vinegar Poisoning". Everyone in every interweb agrees that Vinegar is the CURE for all types of poisoning. Sure, now I know.

So, there you have it.

Also, I was mystified enough by this that I wanted to share all of this news with everyone I know, so there it is, I'm going to try a blog again. (Not least because of the Sprayberries.)